What a load of tosh!

For a lark, someone whose name escapes me convinced me to dabble in one of those “Personality profiling” online tests which have as their supposed rationale the facilitation of matchmaking.

While the company which produced said test shall remain nameless, their “results” came to my email last night. Note to marketers of such services: if you want to pull me, try to include at least one statement in your “profile” of me which does not consist of blatant flattery.

Those who know me might get a laugh from reading the following syruppy tripe:


Your type is called ‘The Surprise Philosopher.’ You are steady, reliable, friendly and you talk less than the people around you. You hate to be bored and you like to be around people, so you’re likely to try new things that your friends want to try to keep life interesting.

You see situations for exactly what they are, and you state reality so bluntly that people can’t help but go along with what you see. You don’t get bogged down in procedures or theories, you just do what needs to be done and get things overwith. You don’t want to exert yourself any more than you have to, so you become an expert at using tools to the maximum advantage so that the time you spend working is extremely efficient in getting results. You excel at finding novel approaches to solving problems because of this and are somewhat of an inventor.

You are definitely an idea person. You come up with concepts for new businesses or products all the time without even trying. You are a natural born entrepreneur and, more than other types, are likely to work for yourself, even as a contractor to someone else, rather than work in a regular 9 to 5 job. You are incredibly skilled with problem solving and not inclined towards desk work. In fact, paperwork can slip through the cracks for you. You avoid all mundane, repetitive, boring work and excel at anything requiring physical skill and finding solutions to surprise problems.

You’re called the Surprise Philosopher because you spend so much time in the background, particularly in groups, and just when you’ve blended totally in you’re likely to say something really abstract and meaningful and people are likely to turn their heads in wonder that you were just hanging in the flow a moment before and suddenly reached such a deep level. You spend so much time in your own mind that you simply listened to the topic, then took it step by step, breaking it down, and came out with your final conclusion without verbally helping everyone else along your train of thought.

You communicate more through actions than words. You learn by doing, rather than by hearing, seeing or reading. Standard grade school was not intended for students like you, and you probably found it tedious and boring.

You were designed to use your hands and mind to master tools which other people cannot. When introduced to new tools, including weapons, your skill develops faster and further, and you speak more technically about it than others could, even if they were given more time and practice. You are drawn to music and have higher natural skill in music than other people.

You feel most comfortable when other people don’t know exactly what to expect from you. This leaves your options open to take whatever action you’d like without it being particularly shocking to anyone. In fact, even those close to you never know whether you’ll respond to something with instant enthusiasm or reserved thought.

You particularly enjoy unexpectedly stepping up to tackle a mechanical or instrument problem and then solving it with ease, although you’ll steer clear if the problem involves people or attitudes. If you absolutely must refer to the directions then you will read only the part which specifically applies to the problem at hand. You like work which has a definite end, a completion point, rather than ‘research’ or ‘administration’ which could continue on forever.

You are observant and will watch your environment, collecting data, constantly. This makes you especially valuable in an emergency because you are the most likely to have spotted things going wrong and know the source of problems before anyone else.

You don’t waste energy on creating plans which might not work out. You prefer to face each day anew and tackle problems as they arise. You rely on yourself and trust common sense to get things done in nearly all circumstances.

You are just what society needs: a conscientious citizen who is always looking out for the good of the group. You are important in your social circle and skilled at making people feel accepted and like part of the team. You are likely to play a role in planning or supporting group activities, and to enjoy being surrounded by people who are united by a common purpose.

You are interested in news events and keep up with the big political and social news stories. You recognize that everyone has an obligation to fill their role in society, whether in their circle of friends, local community, country, or even the global community.

You are truly socially aware and an active member of your community. You are available for the whole group. You don’t draw lines between people, you help defuse tense situations and bring people together. With that said, you also recognize, with all practicality, when someone just isn’t fitting in and needs either to fix their attitude or leave the group.

You have really good friends, friends who care, and friends for whom you’d go out of your way to keep in touch with. You are turned off by selfishness because you are there to help the group and not yourself.

You are particularly aware of who has lower and higher social standing, and you consider it important to keep informed and play your role in politics, whether it be voting, protesting or accepting political office. The truth is, even if it would never happen, you think about what you’d do if you were in a political position of power: you’d make things more fair and reward those who work for the good of the group. It is particularly offensive to you when people use ‘power’ for their own personal gain.

If the group is getting together, you’ll be there. In fact, even if it was difficult for you to make it, you want to be there every time something happens with your group, and your feelings would be hurt if you knew you missed out on something which brought the rest of the group closer together. You feel honored when the group recognizes you in some special way, and when everyone shows up at your party.

When it comes to romantic relationships you want someone who shares your values and interests, someone who can be a lifetime companion and your best friend. While you accept people of all creeds and backgrounds in your social life you are more likely than other types to recognize the benefits of coming from similar upbringings when it comes to a romantic match. It’s important that your future partner gets along with your friends and family and enjoys activities which bring the two of you closer together.

Luckily for you, we specialize in finding someone who exactly matches your specifications. Just how uncommon is your match? Continue on to the next page to find out.

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1 Comment

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One response to “What a load of tosh!

  1. Graham

    Blunt observant comments.(?!)

    I got typed as SP also.
    A more balanced assessment would have been welcome, but found rather more insightful than “INTP”.

    Interested to know what all the types are.
    I can’t find anthing comprehensive on google

    Graham

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